Highs and Low(e)s, Dec 31 2017.
It's 9:12pm on New Year's Eve, December 31st 2017, and I am at home. I'm cross-legged on my bed, woollen blanket draped over my shoulders with that tight, dry feeling around your eyes you get from crying. It's strange, this 'at home New Year's' is weirdly reminiscent of a New Year's Eve experience I had about 7 or 8 years ago. I was also at home then, doing nothing, but 'home' then was a different place. It was my mom's house. I have vivid memories of the turn of the clock that year - I was sat up in bed, staring right ahead in the darkness when suddenly I could see the fireworks going off on Mount Eden through the slits in the blinds. I looked over, my then boyfriend lay dead asleep beside me. He didn't care about any of the New Year's hoo-haa really - or so he said. I told him I didn't either. I was lying, of course. I spent most of that relationship lying about being 'all good' with things to seem 'chill'. In hindsight I think he actually would've wanted to go out and have a celebration if he had really liked me. But he didn't, and a few days later we embarked on a 7 week trip across the Northern Hemisphere which would both mark the end of our relationship and give me just enough complexes to fund my shrink's flat screen, wall mounted television. But hey, that's another story for another day.
The point is, here I am, on my computer on a Sunday night, ready to put up some Highs and Low(e)s that have been sitting as bullet points on my phone for a good 13 days now. It just happens that this is the last day of 2017 so emotions are running high and I'm feeling kind of fucked up because I'm sitting in bed and I can see through the mesh window roller blind and next to me my boyfriend just started breathing heavily, like one does when they've drifted off. It's all a bit too close to home, you know?
ON THAT NOTE... Have a good one guys! (Lol.) Sorry for the wave of depression I have brought upon you. I mean, I know no one will be reading this because everyone will be out there being drunk and having a lovely time, but on the off-chance there's someone else at home with nothing to do except read some highs and low(e)s of the last couple of weeks, here we are:
- I saw Call Me By Your Name a couple of nights ago and I LOVED IT. I went home and watched about a thousand youtube videos of Timothee Chalamet afterwards. Would watch it again at the movies, even, and I don't even really like going to the movie theatre.
- Thinking about 2018 and all the ways you can improve yourself and your life. My 2018 buzz is upskilling. I'm going to upskill. By this I mean I am going to finally get my full driver's license and I am going to take an adult dance class. I mean, if not now, when? Right??
- Spending holiday time stalking your exes on instagram/facebook/etc to see where they are now and then feeling happy you're not living that life.
- THIS VIDEO LOL!
- Christmas gifting for people you don't really care about. Firstly, you're mad because you're spending money on something you don't want to be spending money on, secondly you are mad you're sucked into the mindset of buying people gifts because you feel like you have to. It's lose-lose.
- Did anyone else see we're in for a solid week of rain?
- Bad waiters.
- Reading all these articles about how heaps of sunscreens don't work. What the fuck? On this note, I am on the hunt for the ultimate sunscreen. I have got 5 different face sunscreens in my bag right now but if you know of a great sunscreen that doesn't leave that weird phosphorescent looking residue on your skin and actually works and isn't terrible for the environment, please email me and let me know!
- Oh my god I forgot to add here that yesterday I was up high on a roof top watching the ASB Classic qualifiers (it's tennis, okay) and a fucking QUEEN ANT FLEW INTO MY EYE. It got STUCK in there and STARTED BITING MY EYE! Jesus, how did I forgot about that? It was traumatic.